Joe's Jottings

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Category: Personal Stuff

  • The Movie Star and the Secret Weapon…..

    This blog post was originally an article I had published in an amateur radio magazine some years ago…enjoy!  Another example of how it’s often the ‘amateurs’ who deliver the goods.

    How about this for a movie script; an actress flees her homeland after it is taken over by a murderous dictatorship, and settles in the United States.  Within a few years she is well known for her films, but has also invented a secret communications method for her adopted homeland.
    Far fetched?  Well, I thought so too until I learnt about Hedy Lamarr and her invention of Spread Spectrum technology.  In this article I’ll tell the story of how the team of this glamorous icon of the 1940s and her musical director came up with a technology that is widely used today in cellular phones and many other communication systems.

    Hedy Lamarr was born Hedwig Eva Maria Kiesler on September 11, 1913 in the city of Vienna, Austria, at the time part of the Austro-Hungarian empire.  She married an industrialist called Fritz Mandl, and from him this highly intelligent young woman picked up a lot of information and gossip about the armaments industry with which he was involved in.  Unlike her husband, who became enamoured of the Nazi party, Hedwig, who’d already started doing some acting, left for London and then went on to Hollywood to take up acting.  A swift name change soon followed, and Hedy Lamarr was born.  She had starred in some rather ‘risqué’ movies, particularly ‘Ecstasy’, by the time that she and her musical arranger, George Antheil, found themselves at a dinner party one evening in 1940 thinking about the unfolding European war.

    Guided Weapons

    The United States, then neutral, was developing a number of weapons that depended upon radio signals for guidance.  Amongst these was a guided torpedo, which could be steered towards it’s target by a radio signal.  However, there was a problem; any radio guided missile had a weak link in that given adequate warning that such missiles were in use Nazi scientists could easily produce a radio receiver that could be used by prospective targets to detect the signals used to control the missile or torpedo and then a transmitter could be used to jam the guidance system.  Indeed, the jamming signal could be very simple; it might be enough to tune a transmitter to the signal frequency and just turn it on.  As the missile approached the target the controlling signal would be weakening with distance from the guiding plane or ship, while the jamming signal on the target would get stronger.  Eventually it would overwhelm the guidance signal with the effect that the missile would effectively become a ‘dumb’ weapon and simply carry on in a straight line past the target.

    Frequency Hopping

    So, what could you do?  Hedy was a smart cookie, as they say; she quickly realised that if it were possible for the guidance signal to randomly change frequency it would be difficult for the enemy to actually detect the signal in the first place, and virtually impossible for them to then transmit a jamming signal that would follow the guidance signal.  This ‘frequency hopping’ would need to be random and fairly frequent  to prevent the enemy predicting which frequency would be used next.  Changing the frequency of the transmitted signal on such a basis would be reasonably straight forward to achieve; what was more difficult, Lamarr realised, was making sure that the receiver on the missile or torpedo was able to synchronise itself with the transmitted signal so that as the transmitter changed frequency the receiver would change it’s receive frequency at the same time.  Don’t forget, by the way, that this was before the invention of the transistor; all radio communications depended upon valves, and the computer, even in it’s most rudimentary form, would not appear until 3 years later and would then occupy a whole room…not the stuff you could fit in the head of a torpedo no more than two feet in diameter.

    Player piano

    The composer George Antheil was a friend and colleague of Lamarr’s, and due in part to his background as a composer he imagined that one possible solution to the problem of synchronising transmitter and receiver would be to incorporate some sort of switching mechanism in to the transmitter and receiver that could read a ‘tape’ of instructions, a little like the punched paper strips read by automatic ‘player pianos’.  These machines read cards or paper tape similar to what would be later used to program computers, and as the tape was ‘read’ through the machine the holes in the tape caused musical notes to be played.  Analogously, thought Antheil, it should be possible for the tape in the transmitter to switch the transmitted frequency as it was slowly unwound through some sort of electronic switch capable of detecting holes in the tape, and similarly an identical tape in the receiver should be able to switch receiver circuits to different frequencies for signal reception.  If you had two identical tapes, unwound at the same rate, one in the transmitter and one in the receiver, you could synchronise the transmitter and receiver to stay in step with each other.  Of course, any mechanical system is prone to slippage and slight losses of synchronisation, but the principle was there. In December 1940, the concept of a communication system based upon ‘frequency hopping’  was submitted by Hedy Lamarr and George Antheil  to the National Inventors Council, a US Government organisation that was co-ordinating technical developments for the war effort.  The patent, number 2,292,387 was eventually filed on June 10th 1941 and was granted over a year later in August 1942, when the Britain, the US and the USSR were up to their necks in the series of defeats that would only be halted at El Alamein and Stalingrad.  Now would be a very good time for a secret weapon to be developed…..

    The Practicalities

    Unfortunately, the practicalities of setting this up would prove to be too difficult; the synchronising tapes would have had to be paper tapes, and the whole technical issue of putting fairly complex electronics and mechanics in to the small and rough environment of a bomb or torpedo was too much.  Lamarr and Antheil gave their Patent to the US Government as part of the war effort, but their creation would have to wait for almost 20 years until the invention of the transistor and other semiconductor devices allowed the construction of practical, if crude, frequency hopping equipment that was based around digital circuits that created a reproducible, but apparently random, string of random electronic impulses that could switch circuitry with no moving parts.

    Practical Uses

    The patent lapsed in the early 1960s, at the heart of the cold war, and the US Navy immediately put the system to use using semiconductor technology to create a frequency hopping secure communications system.  This was the start of the military use of ‘spread spectrum’ technology, the direct descendant of the Lamarr’s invention.  The technology would soon find itself used in a wide range of military communication systems, with frequency switching taking place many times a second making it difficult for an enemy to even detect a signal; a spread spectrum signal heard on a ‘normal’ radio receiver just sounds like a slightly higher than usual level of noise on the channel.    The technology was eventually de-classified in the 1980s, just in time for the technology to be used in cellular telephone systems.  To see why this technology is useful one has to consider that a lot of cellular phones are in use in the same geographical area.  It’s not really feasible for a given phone to be given it’s own frequency, as there just aren’t enough frequencies.  Instead, cellular phones can transmit on a number of frequencies and the frequency in use will ‘switch’ as the phone call is made and the user moves from one ‘cell’ on the cellular network to another.  The switching from frequency to frequency also reduces the effect of interference on the signal; an interfering signal that is strong on one frequency may be quite weak on another, and so although some of the signal may be lost there is a greater chance for the signal to ‘get through’.

    In addition to the cellular phone, low level spread spectrum transmitters are used in ‘wireless’ computer networks, where data is sent from portable computers to other computers by UHF or microwave radio signals.  Again, single frequencies would not be feasible in a busy office environment or city centre, so the network adapters that allow the computers to talk to one another use spread spectrum techniques to improve reliability and data security; unless you know a lot about the network it’s quite hard to listen in and detect computer traffic on wireless networks due to the frequency hopping.

    The algorithms used to control the frequency hopping in different spread spectrum systems are quite varied, depending upon the job in hand.  For example, cellular phones and wireless network cards use chips that generate a pseudo random string of pulses.  Two devices in communication will initiate the session by exchanging enough information to set the ‘start’ position for the random pulse chain.  Provided the two systems start from the same place, they’ll keep in synchrony.  Alternatively, the message to ‘change frequency’ might be actually transmitted to the receiver as part of the transmitted signal.  This approach is also used in cellular phones and wireless network cards.  Data about when to switch and what frequency to switch to is sent as a data packet.  This isn’t terribly secure as anyone with patience and the correct equipment can  log the data packets and simulate the receiver.  The ultimate in secure spread spectrum probably involves the modern equivalent of the ‘one time pad’; a CD Rom or memory chip is used at each end; these devices contain a string of totally random noise pulses from a natural source, like solar radio noise or noise from noise diodes.  A CD ROM might contain enough ‘bits’ for a few dozen messages; a copy would be made and the copy sent to the receiver site, usually under diplomatic protection.  The CD ROM would be used for communications, and then after each block of bits is used for a single message it’s never sued again.  Combined with a suitable cipher system, this sort of communication is undetectable (don’t forget that the signal sounds like an increase in local noise) and even if it is detected the cipher system ensures that no one else can read the message. 

    And Finally……

    And finally, what did Hedy and George get for all their cleverness?  Well, until the late 1990s, not much.  Apparently they never even received a formal thank you letter from the US Government.  But before she died in 2000,  Hedy Lamarr received an award from the Electronic Frontier Foundation recognising her contributions to modern computer technology, even though it took place 50 years before.  George Antheil died before he could get the award, but at least now the contribution of the composer and the actress to modern communications has finally been recognised.

    July 2, 2010
  • Chasing Cars

    ‘Chasing Cars’ is the name of a song by the band ‘Snow Patrol’.  I quite like it – I’m a sucker for sad songs and this is a fine example of the genre.  However, it has a little bit of ‘back story’.  According to Wikipedia:

    “The phrase “Chasing Cars” came from [singer Gary ] Lightbody’s father, in reference to a girl Lightbody was infatuated with, “You’re like a dog chasing a car. You’ll never catch it and you just wouldn’t know what to do with it if you did.”

    That phrase has stuck with me, and I have to say that over recent months I’ve been considering more and more how much time we all spend ‘chasing cars’ in our lives.  I’m currently going through one of those times in my life of what can best be described as ‘internal reflection’ (Some unkind folks might call it ‘loafing’ or ‘contemplating my navel’; I’m not listening… 🙂 ) and I guess that some of what’s going through my head right now is a product of that.

    What cars do I chase?  Well, I suppose over the years I’ve been a good starter and not so good finisher; ideas are very cheap – I was saying this to a group of start-up people recently – and what counts is implementing those ideas in a form that makes them usable.  If it’s an idea for a business, build a business that’s making money; if for a novel, a written manuscript; if for a cunning invention – a working prototype.  I’ve had a few opportunities over the years that have been very close to what most folks would have called ‘big hitting success’ but that didn’t come to fruition.  On a few occasions I’ve definitely considered that, rather than being afraid of failing, I’ve previously been much more afraid of success.

    For quite a few opportunity-filled years I was, looking back on it, chasing cars; had I managed to get what I was allegedly going for I’m not sure I’d have known what to do with it.  Were the same opportunities to present themselves today, I can say two things; I’d give them a rather closer going over to make sure that I really DID want to chase ’em, and then when I’d made the decision I’d get out there yapping and barking until I caught ’em.

    The trick is to know WHY you’re chasing your ideas and projects; what are you wanting to get from them?  Money? Fame? Success with women / men / small dogs?  Free food and drink at your local pub?  Or do you just want to contribute to society?  Grow spiritually? Help out folks less fortunate than yourself? Get your own back on folks who upset you at school?

    Don’t let yourself chase cars in your life without being reasonably sure you’ll know what to do if you manage to catch the object of your desire; I’ve been there and it’s a bloody waste of time if you’re not sure!

    July 1, 2010
  • The world’s messy – get used to it

    One of the great things about Twitter is that it brings articles to my attention that I wouldn’t otherwise have read. This blog post originated in one of those articles. It’s here – in it, the writer notes that managers and creatives tend to work on different chunks of time for getting things done – for managers hour diary slots are usually adequate, but for creatives an hour barely gives you time to get going. So far so good – I’ve written a Joe’s Jottings piece in which I mention that my own to-do list doesn’t deal in units of time much under half a day.

    The writer then goes on to comment on how his organisation – a venture capital outfit – runs it’s diary slots on the ‘maker’ basis rather than the ‘manager’ basis. And turns the whole thing in to a selling point for their services. OK – at one level this is a good example of catering your working practices to your client base, but it started me thinking again about the increasing tendency I’ve witnessed in the last year or so amongst start up companies and those catering for them towards over-complicating what are really quite straight forward and, in some cases, old fashioned, good personal and business management skills and techniques.

    I’m just getting a little tired of seeing things that are just this side of bleedin’ obvious being touted as if they were the bastard intellectual offspring of an orgy between Wittgenstein, Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci and Drucker.

    I wear a number of hats in my day to day life; I’m a husband, cat-wrangler, consultant, software developer, charity Trustee, line manager, householder, social entrepreneur…you get the picture. Each of these activities requires me to operate in different ways – sometimes I’m working to someone else’s priorities, sometimes to my own. Oddly enough these things all get recorded in the same diary, with prioritisation and time-slots allocated to the job in hand. If there’s a day on which I want to do development work, I block it out in my diary – the things that will shift me from that are family or major line management issues. If I have a board meeting, I block out the morning or afternoon. It’s called time-management, prioritisation and flexibility. It’s an essential component of what is needed to get stuff done in a world that is messy.

    It’s important for startups to get used to the idea that sooner or later they’re going to have to get used to dealing with the world the way it is, not the way they’d like it to be. Pandering from VC companies doesn’t help this; people in startups learning the basics of time and diary management and prioritisation will.

    June 30, 2010
  • I now debug washing machines….

    Ask most people in IT what the most irritating piece of kit in most PC installations is, and they’ll usually say ‘printers’ or ‘scanners’ – basically anything mechanical.  I think the item in the house that generates the same degree of fear in me is the washing machine.  To paraphrase ‘The Two Ronnies’ from my childhood – ‘It’s big, it’s white, it’s shiny and I be afraid of it’.

    In our case ‘it’ is an Indesit WD12 automatic washing machine.  Under normal circumstances it clicks, whirrs, buzzes, splushes, chugs, and gurgles for an hour or so, makes a final shuddering burble then falls quiet.  Last week it changed it’s habits by simply ‘clicking’ through the programme set without actually doing anything.

    At this point I did the rather unmanly thing of reading the manual.  Apart from the bleedin’ obvious (is it turned on, connected to the water mains and drain and ensure you’re not trying to wash a bag of cement) the manual suggested very little.  I then did what we advise 70% of support desk callers to do; turn it off, leave for a while, and then turn it on again.  And after that didn’t work, I did what you probably shouldn’t do unless you want to scare yourself daft…typed the symptoms in to Google.

    According to the various online sources of information about the problem I described, the washer was in various stages of terminal decline.  Phrases like ‘replacement control board’ were bandied around.  Quite what I expected to find that would be helpful I wasn’t sure – perhaps a little line or two somewhere that said ‘Turn the switch left 3 places, then right 4 places, and that will do it’.  Well, by now I was getting pretty miserable about the whole affair, and had visions of calling out the repair man. So, I decided to do what any self-respecting software engineer would do – turned it off and forgot about it for 2 or 3 days.

    I then decided to take one last look before calling out an engineer (who, I had no doubt, would show up, spend 2 minutes poking the inside of the machine before telling me it’s fixed and leaving me £50 the lighter) and thought that I would adopt a similar approach to that that I take when doing debugging of software ‘on site’.

    First of all…assemble the source code and documentation

    Well, in this case that was the manual and the washing machine itself.  So far so good.

    Get your tools together

    Rather than Eclipse and a debugger, the tools for this exercise consisted of 4 screwdrivers of varying sizes, a large quantity of towels and paper cloths (just in case there was a big pool of water just waiting to get out!)

    Go take a look at the source code with confidence

    Also known as ‘showing the system (washer) who’s boss.  Took the back of the washer off and had a good look around for the hardware equivalents of messy code, mis-configured database connections, excess amounts of commented out ‘dead’ code cluttering the place up and hiding possible faults.  Or, in the case of a washing machine…checked that all accessible connections were tight, that the belt was secure on the drum, that the drum could be turned by hand, that the inlet and outlet pipes were clear, etc.

    I then took a look at the little drawer where the washing powder is introduced, and after taking it out noticed that it, and the channel under it leading to the washer, were crudded up with washing powder.  Let’s say this is the equivalent of one of those bits of dodgy code you find that doesn’t ‘look right’ but you can’t see why it would cause the problem you’re having…

    Tidy up the obvious errors

    I washed the drawer and got rid of the lumps of washing powder from the channel.  Actually, I was chipping deposits off with a screwdriver.   I always thought that washing powder was supposed to be water-soluble…maybe not.

    Re-compile and re-run

    And so the moment of truth – you’ve done some tweaking, tidied up the obvious and we’re ready to give it a whirl.  I put the drawer back in, screwed on the back-panel I’d removed (and in a special gesture to the gods of hardware, ensured I didn’t bother putting all the screws back in), connected the machine to water, drain and mains and turned on and stepped well back….and amazingly enough it works!

    As Neo might have said in ‘The Matrix’ – ‘I know washing machine maintenance’.

    June 27, 2010
  • Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-06-27

    • Gradually shaking off the after effects of that more disturbing dream from last night… #
    • Just received worse phishing spam ever. Claimed to be from BoS, referenced RBS web site, signed off as from Lloyds and Halifx. #fail #
    • Off to church on a beautiful morning! #
    • A night of very odd and the occasional very disturbing dreams…. #
    • You need a good few gallons of spit to sing like Jacques Brel…. #
    • #doctorwho – oh dear, such a cop-out – good build up of story and dreadful resolution. Too many plot holes (cracks not included)…. #
    • Sigh….as usual #drwho full of plot holes one could drive a bus through… #pandorica #
    • Better get on with some more programming! 🙂 #
    • Show your support for #armedforcesday on 26 June, add a #twibbon to your avatar now! http://twb.ly/d2eY4p – @ArmedForces_Day #
    • Having a fiiiine morning – coding going well and listening to some French #electronica .. #
    • Excellent! I love the Apple Heavies and teh contents of Steve's box! via @mashable:iPhone 4 … Into a Blender [VIDEO] – http://bit.ly/ajBhB1 #
    • RT @Toltecjohn: 'You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body' C.S. Lewis > http://bit.ly/KUPxS #
    • From Guardian – basaltboy : "This is not a design flaw but a new feature. You can turn your iphone 4 into an ipod touch by picking it up. #
    • The last time I had to worry about my phone aerial was in the 1980s…but then I don't use #iphone … #
    • Gee Steve, thanks!!! RT @guardiantech: Steve Jobs solves iPhone 4 reception problems: 'don't hold it that way' http://bit.ly/bT6L9B #
    • I'm surprised how quiet the Apple fans have been today about the iPhone 4 aerial…er…design feature. #iphone #
    • So much for cool engineering – #iphone4 #fail http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8759590.stm #
    • Dim question from a non-iPhone user….if current phone works OK, and all iPhone users tell me how great iPhones are, why upgrade? #
    • Just how expensive is electoral reform going to be for this country? Seems that the Lib Dems have gone along with a lot to get it… #
    • A lot to do today – going to try and wrestle the day in to submission! #
    • And congrats to #usa #worldcup #
    • Congratulations to #eng – good performance with passion! #worldcup #
    • Sigh….and yet again #Ubuntu doesn't work right out the box and I can't be arsed to fix missing packages. FIX IT! #fail #
    • Oh well, looks like we still have increased Employer's NI – at least he's being consistently dim across the board…. #
    • The lines are drawn, the challenge set. What will YOU be doing to help your community against the efforts of central government? #
    • On my way to Harrogate – lovely morning! #
    • Phew – survived round 1 with dentist. After 30 years of semi-neglect I only need 3 fillings…and one POSSIBLE extraction….eeeek! #
    • Happy Solstice to all – and it's a beautiful day for it! #fb #
    • Just seen my first second hand #ipad at #cex #sheffield #
    • Sheffield City Council seeks consultation on Licensing Policy – http://is.gd/cXng9 #sheffield #
    • RT @SomeURL: RT @shacknetwork: Anyone got a barcode reader for possible #shacknet group project for #gistlab that they could donate? #
    • Today is busy – featuring my first trip to dentists in ….years. Pathologically scared of them – fingers crossed! #

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    June 27, 2010
  • Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-06-20

    • Can I ask our senior politicians to leave the past behind them and get on with teh future? Just a thought? #
    • Off to church! #
    • Social media is simply 'there' for people to use however they want – STOP PREACHING! http://j.mp/9IJ776 #
    • #cmr kept up the pressure right to the end and looked really pissed off to lose. Are you watching, Mr Rooney? #end #worldcup #
    • #pandorica – always thought that the worst thing in the Universe was Baldrick's Trousers….so….is #drwho actually pants? 🙂 #
    • Obama is becoming a little bit il-liberal these days…Internet kill switch? http://is.gd/cVwQn #fb #
    • BP response to oil spill…from cats. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt617zYAbng&feature=youtube_gdata #
    • Oooh….Ice Station Zebra – one of my favourite films! #
    • As Comic Book Man might say….Worst. England. Game. Ever. #worldcup #eng (OK…maybe not QUITE ever….) #
    • #englandfilms Field of Dreams #
    • #Eng players are privileged young men – if they find things tough, maybe they could swap with less privileged young men in Afghanistan? #
    • Capello accused by a pundit of wielding too much of a rod of iron. Oh dear…I thought we had men there, not whiney little children….#eng #
    • RT @Chance4321: RT @VizTopTips: ENGLAND, avoid ITV-HD from missing your goals with an ad break by not scoring any. /via @capricorn_one #
    • RT @JimSymonds: James Corden next? Just when you think youve hit the bottom… #
    • "if anyone can cheer you after that performance, it's James Corden" – ITV commentator. Shall I kill myself now, then? #worldcup #eng #
    • So…as well as being stodgy and looking unfit, Rooney throws a strop at the fans. PLAY BETTER, YOU TIT! #worldcup #eng #fb #
    • LOST in South Africa – the mojo of the entire England team. Taken from us too soon. #worldcup #eng #
    • The pain I'm experiencing from a nasty dental abscess is nothing to that I'm experiencing watching England… #worldcup #eng #
    • England excuse 159 – the other team were in camoflage and we kept running in to 'em. #worldcup #eng #
    • We've had 'pally' managers; 'professional' managers; neither style works with players that don't give a shit. #eng #worldcup #
    • Capello prepares to send himself on to show how to run… #worldcup #
    • John Terry – save that sort of sloppiness for your off-pitch shenanigans… #worldcup #eng #
    • Itv commentary team – stop making excuses for the lazy, sluggish and uncaring England team. #worldcup #eng #
    • At the moment England would be hard pressed to beat the 'Retired Priests' team from 'Father Ted' #worldcup #
    • Already commentators starting to criticise Capello….or maybe players can't be arsed? #worldcup #eng #
    • OK….can we expect an 'Angry Hitler comments on England performance" video soon, please? #worldcup #
    • Rooney "I don't understand it, boss. We've been taking shots like that against Rob green all day and EVERY ONE went in!" #worldcup #
    • Whilst it's essential that BP cough up and pay for the damage, how much of the attitude of the investigation is due to elections? #
    • I have ALWAYS said that back, sack and crack is dangerous for any sane man to contemplate – PROOF!! http://is.gd/cT7AU #fb #
    • Am I alone in finding it lovely when players cry when their National Anthems are played? Brings a lump to my throat. #worldcup #
    • #sheffield – what's this I hear about Gove and Cable visiting Sheffield Peace Gardens next Thursday? Any news, peeps? #
    • Hitler, his surround sound TV and the #vuvuzuelas … http://is.gd/cT7a9 #
    • Are we about to see 'Lethal Weapon' scene in which Mel Gibson, gets a mouthful of petrol, says 'Yuck, Exxon', get re-dubbed to 'Yuck, BP'? #
    • The bloke from Texas seems more an apologist for Big Oil than a Government representative…. #
    • For those who hate the current government; what are you doing to help YOUR community through these times? #
    • To those who claim Thatcher didn't cut public spending – bullshit. You're either young, of poor memory or from an alternate 1980s. #
    • One for the Apple fanbois…http://tinyurl.com/3872eb7 #
    • Beautiful day – on train to Harrogate! #
    • Excellent! Via @guardiantech: Residents are increasingly setting up their own 'hyperlocal' websites – http://bit.ly/boBSf9 #
    • #lessmachofilms Throne of Wood #
    • #lessmachofilms Knitting Club #
    • #lessmachofilms Conan the Vegetarian #
    • Hmmmm….Twitter seems to be keen to repeat this morning! #
    • One of the great vuvuzela soloists, Police Constable Fred Johnson, was squished when he was mistaken for a bluebottle. #vuvuzelafacts #
    • A vuvuzela can be used to spit a chewed up ball of paper 100 meters… #vuvuzelafacts #
    • The vuvuzela was used by the Israelites to bring down the walls of Jericho…#vuvuzelafacts #
    • Under company law, are handguns allowed in board meetings? #
    • I believe it's called satire…. sigh….. RT @MyEbisu: Music industry lobbyist calls for death penalty for piracy http://ow.ly/17JeyE #
    • The BBC is not a sacred cow – I use BBC provided services MUCH less these days. Make the BBC more responsive. #savetheBBC #
    • Whilst being broadly supportive of the BBC, I'd like to have more say in how my license is spent. http://is.gd/cOBaM #
    • UK Debt almost tripled between Oct.2000 and Feb 2010 – way to go Gordon. http://is.gd/cOB7f #
    • Feeling pretty much back to normal today – got stuff to do, people to see, things to catch up on! #
    • Thank God I deal with the other 2/3rds…. RT @writer_sheri: One-Third of Twitter Users Talk Brands http://bit.ly/bbjdDW (eMarketer) #
    • RT @KatTansey: Just wondering if we spent as much time figuring out how to reduce our own consumption of oil as we do ranting….. #

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    June 20, 2010
  • Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-06-13

    • I'm lurgied – sniffly cold and the sore throat from Hell – last night's dreams were good, though! #
    • RT @JimSymonds: Bad news for gardeners. Having Green fingers about to become a term of abuse. #comeonengland #
    • RT @AlexGoodall: US Gov. reaction to BP needs to be compared to its reaction to Union Carbide (Bhopal) where 100,000s died/seriously ill #
    • Thank goodness – seem to be getting a little focus in to my day! #
    • UNICEF calls upon Governments and Private Sector to act against Child Labour… http://www.unicef.org/media/media_53955.html #
    • Taleban hang a 7 year old – savage barbarism still survives… http://is.gd/cMzBu Will be interesting to see who condemns the Taleban…. #
    • I like this…something for all of you with emotional pain today… 🙂 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1g3ENYxg9k&feature=player_embedded #
    • Frankie Boyle yet again shows his sensitivity…sigh….http://is.gd/cMqEa #
    • I hope these African Killer Bees don't get out of their hives and attack the fans and players… #worldcup #
    • RT @guidofawkes: Prezza to face Iraq Inquiry, presumably to establish if he ate the WMD. #
    • I trust that all US shareholders of BP will contribute their dividend payments to the Gulf cleanup?…. #bp #
    • I love British Gas's payments dept – undecipherable accents and bad attitude! #
    • RT @ivortymchak: To all the American hypocrites bitching about BP, I say this; Bhopal. #
    • Good evening last night courtesy of @gemdirectories birthday bash. Today lots to get done – but looking forward to it! in reply to gemdirectories #
    • Hmmm….'people's University'…http://is.gd/cKmVk – had it for 40+ years and it's called the OU! #
    • RT @britmic: #google hit every branch falling out that ugly tree RT @momentsoffilm: Damn, Google is UGLY today! #
    • Are the #google images today to encourage you to set up an account so you can make it somewhat more tolerable? #
    • Aaaaahhhh….good to see 'class warfare / envy' coming to the top as Labour activists bring up their own suggestions for cuts…. 🙂 #
    • Oh good grief…I understand why Google stuck with plain screens for so long – they have no sense of taste….. #
    • One thing I genuinely look forward to in the next few months is seeing an influx of grass-roots activists to community projects… #
    • Parsing XML from a client – how do you explain to them that 'valid XML' should not include invalid characters….sigh….. #
    • #bb11 housemate tombola…all above board, says Davina…sort of like previous phone-votes? 🙂 #
    • Ack! It's Jordan! Heeeeelp! #bb11 – Love, I know the career was taking a dive but surely you're not…oh, hang on…my mistake…. #
    • Hmmmm…."I'm not an attention seeker…" – why audition for #bb11 then, petal? #
    • Re. #bb11 Dave – one feels that Nero may have been on to something….. #
    • Watching #bb11 housemates…will to live slipping…slipping… #
    • Depressing that none of the leadership candidates appear to be in favour of true electoral change… #nslabourleadership #
    • Why do Big Brother contestants squeal like the cast of 'Deliverance' when they get in to the house? #bigbrother #
    • I would agree – interesting but over-stated. RT @guardiantech: Iran's 'Twitter revolution' was exaggerated, says editor http://bit.ly/aLOa6J #
    • Absolutely – right up until recent year or so, even. @benfolley Burnham says New Labour excluded good party members #nslabourleadership #
    • Would certainly encourage me…. RT @louiebaur: Could a $50 'Paperback' Kindle Beat the iPad? http://bit.ly/bWv6IZ #
    • How depressing that in the 21st Century we have to be talking about 'Woman Friendly' mosques (or Synagogues, or churches) http://is.gd/cJ4O0 #
    • Tokenism – it's the political establishment saying you're not good enough to get there without help. http://bit.ly/crVW7U #
    • Of course GM food is safe…yeah…right…http://ofgoatsandmen.blogspot.com/2010/06/genetically-modified-fooods-gmo-causes.html #
    • RT @RobMcNealy: New BlackWater 4 Sale (Ad): "Experienced whore looking for new pimp. Will kill anything for anyone." http://bit.ly/cPc5pl #
    • Mcdonnell leadership pull-out – great shame for left but stupid comment is NOT appropriate for a major party leader. #
    • Meeting this AM, change of plans this PM, will get work done instead! #
    • Elton John plays for Rush Limbaugh Wedding – http://is.gd/cHPZI – amazing what folks do for a million dollars. #
    • Excellent season finale for Fringe – looking froward to it's return! #fb #
    • Wow! That's a lot of 140 characters! RT @mashable: Twitter Hits 2 Billion Tweets Per Month – http://bit.ly/9SZd1n #
    • An utterley sad story on so many levels…. RT @kennyellaway: WHAT?!? http://bit.ly/9KoUlE #
    • Yay!!! We're noticed by a whingebot! Fame at last! 🙂 My life is complete! 🙂 @whingers @RadShef @blowupchurch in reply to whingers #
    • I doubt National Express will follow suit….. 🙂 RT @arstechnica: Amtrak to take free onboard WiFi nationwide – http://arst.ch/l5c #
    • When Lloyds say ditch oil, buy renewables, we'd better listen… http://is.gd/cHsqA #
    • A new way to bury the bad news!! RT @mashable: BP Buys Top Google Result for "Oil Spill" – http://bit.ly/bDmCQp #
    • Having a vaguely productive day – Google Maps API is succumbing! #
    • Re. Duke of Edinburgh…when I heard the words 'damaged wrist' I have to admit to bursting in to fits of giggles…. #
    • Rio tells when he knew his World Cup Dream was over…"It was when the boss put Heskey on the pitch…" #
    • So….Steve Jobs demos a phone that can't get a Wifi signal and connect to the Net. #fail #iphone4 #
    • Right – drink tea and get off to meeting! #
    • Michael Gove's fall…almost Mr Bean-like! He did take it well! #
    • Typical – I have a meeting this afternoon and it's raining…. #
    • Busy morning codiing, hoping rain stops properly before lunch! #
    • On way to #startupmill sheffield at #gistlab #
    • McDonnell…foot…gun…blam! RT @iaindale: Blogpost: McDonnell: I Regret Not Assassinating Thatcher http://tinyurl.com/242g8aq #
    • You mean like you can do with Windows?… 😉 RT @TechRepublic: Send instant messages between Macs on a LAN http://tek.io/9SSIWf #
    • Bye bye St Phillips Club, Netherthorpe. Watch the land get snapped up for more yuppie flats! #
    • Doing the background work for new business – web site regn. software installs, Twitter and Facebook setup. #
    • …we used to map the gene by mutating the flies, look at what the mutation was, then look at chroms. under microscope…wasted youth. 🙂 #
    • Started preparatory work for a major career change in 2010 – exciting times! #

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    June 13, 2010
  • Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-06-06

    • RT @Iconic88: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. Jimi Hendrix #
    • Hollyoaks jumps the shark, then does a double somersault over it! RT @RadShef: Er? http://bit.ly/b6yXNf #
    • Sarah Palin is a twat. http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/292916 #gulfoilspill #bp #
    • Pretty lively thunder here in Sheffield! #
    • RT @Twitter_Tips: Reminder: Do not click links in "Twitter password reset message" email: http://j.mp/atjXsn #
    • Egypt strips citizenship from Egyptians married to Israelis. Just shows that Israel doesn't have a monopoly on bigotry. http://is.gd/cDZub #
    • RT @AlexGoodall: Time taken to create Wikipedia, app. 100 mil hrs, spent by Americans each weekend watching ads. From http://bit.ly/dzlfo5 #
    • Ahhh…spammers who can't even send a functional spam email – class. #fail #
    • Actually, @iaindale, if I were Obama I'd be spitting feathers. He should have been in the area from day 1 – it's almost his Katrina. in reply to iaindale #
    • Cut the front hedge this morning – the gate is now negotiable again! #
    • RT @edn1970: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00sj2s3 – sheffield city of culture… #
    • So dumb and unfeeling it beggars belief. RT @Twitter_Tips: Can you fire someone via tweet? Legal but risky: http://j.mp/dhVbDM #
    • You just have to love 'self defence' Israeli style – close range head shots. http://is.gd/cDkBB #fb #flotilla #
    • RT @bilbobaggins2k: Gaza flotilla activists were shot in head at close range http://gu.com/p/2hfcy/ip Says it all really. #freedomflotilla #
    • Excellent idea from the Government – looking froward to seeing the books for Sheffield! http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/politics/10241522.stm #
    • Right – going to kill my network connection for a while to get stuff done! No more distractions! #
    • And yet again we experience the British pre-occupation of taking good food and burning it to a cinder whilst stinking out the area! 🙂 #
    • Good teleconference and follow up – feeling slightly more motivated! #fb #
    • D'OH! RT @guardiantech: Apple showcases HTML5 'standard' – but only if you use its browser http://bit.ly/9jpkwP #
    • Re. McDonalds recalling cadmium tainted glasses – maybe less harmful than burgers? 😉 #
    • Good point – @historyscientis – although the value of PR depends upon whether the PEOPLE swallow the story, not other media. in reply to historyscientis #
    • RT @MediaActivist: BBC News – McDonald's recalls Shrek glasses 'tainted with cadmium': http://bit.ly/dpFjUd via @addthis #fail #
    • Is it not tempting fate to install a 27 foot statue of Anubis (Ancient Egyption God of the Underworld) at Denver Airport? http://is.gd/cCjlF #
    • Lest we forget so quickly – this time last week 9 civillians were alive who were killed in the Gaza #flotilla attack. #
    • Fuckwitted Diplomat compares Israeli Flotilla attack to fight against Nazi Germany…yeah…right http://is.gd/cCisw #flotilla #
    • That's a WIN? Hate to see 'em lose! RT @guardiantech: Israeli PR machine won Gaza flotilla media battle | Antony Lerman http://bit.ly/baSW6g #
    • Warning to those like Coterie Galleries who whack my three separate twitter accounts at once with Follows. It's spamming. You're reported. #
    • Note to the UK Media about Cumbria. just stop it. You're starting to wallow in it, so bugger off. #fb #
    • I await the Fanboi excuses… 🙂 RT @MarkGibbens: I'm not sure Apple really understand web standards. http://twitpic.com/1tsagh #
    • Complainants need to get a grip, rather than getting hysterical. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment_and_arts/10235494.stm #
    • Damn right!! RT @marcjohnson: people need to be well informed and independent as well for wisdom of crowds to work, so rare in reality #
    • Staggered by the silence from all about why 'Purple in the Peace Gardens' was blocked from teh Peace Gardens by SCC. #
    • AGREED! RT @Chance4321: Companies, heres an idea. How about you pay invoices on time so we don't end up thinking you are a bunch of cnuts #
    • I'd love to see John Prescott walk around the studio and stick one on Hislop…. 🙂 #
    • RT @simonprideny: Putting "Sent from my iPad" as your Mail signature is much cheaper than buying an iPad. #
    • RT @yorkhannah: Please RT. Here's the GIST Lab's wish list, if you'd like to help please get it in touch via @gistwire: http://bit.ly/bM77Gc #
    • RT @springcalc: We went live towards the end of May – create a free account to trial it at http://www.springcalculator.com #
    • RT @springcalc: We've also just created a facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Spring-Calculator/122364831136349 #
    • The Cumbria shooting reporting is getting obscene – just jack it in, people. There is NO public benefit to be gained from this pornography. #
    • Hope that the Government don't do knee jerk law-making in response to Cumbria tragedy – you cannot design society around broken people. #fb #
    • Off to view potential new property today for HF! #
    • Note to media re. Cumbria shooting. We know all we need to know at this time. Just bugger off and let those poor folks start healing. #
    • RT @Hills_Forum: Hillsborough great gardens and photo competition! Enter via http://www.hillsboroughinbloom.btik.com (cont) http://tl.gd/1ksu24 #
    • Technology jumps the shark – a friggin' Facebooking Toothbrush???? http://www.itbusiness.ca/it/client/en/home/News.asp?id=57815 #
    • On way home after unexpected but good day at #gistparticipation #
    • RT @philo_quotes: No eulogy is due to him who simply does his duty and nothing more. ~ Saint Augustine #
    • Busy day ahead – coding, documenting and trips to estate agents! #
    • Folks interested in the #flotilla may be interested in http://paper.li/tag/flotilla #
    • "Allowing the pages of The Sun to pass before your eyes does not constitute reading [a newspaper]" – Inspector Morse…. #fb #
    • Coalition Govt. opening up more state data – puts the last Government to shame yet again. http://is.gd/cxY5n #
    • The 'No Shit Sherlock' award goes to the UK Israeli Ambassador… 'It is fair to say the operation was not very successful' #flotilla #
    • Had 4 emails now with a broken link for their newsletter from an organisation…perhaps I should offer help? 🙂 #
    • RT @britmic: "Between 1980 & 2005, only 6% of terrorist attacks on US soil were committed by Muslim extremists." http://bit.ly/bx1ttj (FBI) #
    • Good Lord – I'm pleasantly staggered! RT @Iconic88: World Bank announces total cancellation of #Haiti ??s debt – http://bit.ly/bEZ2S1 #
    • This isn't about research. It's about dazzling the masses with a bauble. I believe the respectable term is marketing! "Going Postal" #fb #
    • Quick reminder for Israel and her supporters. Boarding ships in International Waters is piracy. Just a quick reminder. Thanks. #flotilla #
    • What rot – utter somewhat biased analysis from Melanie Philips: http://bit.ly/aRWfwL #flotilla #
    • SA President Zuma to father 21st child. http://is.gd/cwTae Glad we don't live on an over-populated world, Jacob…. 🙁 #
    • Bullshit! This is a violation of International Law!! @RegulusdeLeo: Israel is under attack more than ever. <snip> #
    • Given Israel's lack of interest in International Law, can we see them being equally slack about their borders….? #flotilla #
    • Wooohooo….I'm being replied to by the Israeli Foreign Ministry…should I look out for helicopter loads of commandos? #fb #
    • I reckon cock-up, not conspiracy. RT @guardiantech: Did Twitter censor the #flotilla hashtag following Israel attack? http://bit.ly/amFTQ3 #
    • Oh, I like the look of this! http://techinstyle.tv/news/your-notepad-evolved/ #
    • Australian journalist with #flotilla not heard from since attack – his last reports indicated Israeli jamming of communications. #
    • Today's supposed to be the 'big quit' day from Facebook – I doubt that it will happen. #fb #
    • Gradually feeling more myself and less depressed than I have been over recent weeks – getting my mojo back! #
    • Massive Israeli over-reaction AND in International waters – seems rather like the USS Liberty all over again. #flotilla (to @2012israel) in reply to 2012israel #
    • From the IDF – justifying Israeli piracy. Claims that the military didn't want to hurt people ring VERY hollow. http://is.gd/cwFRu #
    • Seventy Years of get out clauses – Israel as a rogue state. https://joepritchard.me.uk/2010/05/70-years-of-get-out-clauses/ #flotilla #
    • Israel attacks ships in International Waters – surely an act of piracy? #fb #
    • I see, Israel – commandos attacked by activists ships boarded. Why are all the dead civilians? Why not use non-lethal force? #
    • Latest Joe's Jottings posts on #davidlaws and #dannyalexander – http://is.gd/cwbMk and http://is.gd/cwbOh #
    • BP Scum. RT @timoreilly: BP knew, and hid safety concerns about Deepwater Horizon oil rig http://nyti.ms/cKnzX7 "Drill, baby, drill!" #
    • It's said that no battle plan survives contact with the enemy – looks like Lib Dem fiscal probity can't survive contact with power… #
    • The big issue for the Coalition Government is to clean house and get rid of any more embarrassments before their reputation is shot. #
    • If ministers with a perceived lack of integrity put in Treasury, markets will react. Whips will be aware – but expect to get away with it. #
    • I'm mortified – perhaps we have 4 years to build a grass roots movement to put a raft of Independents up for election. @AlisonBoydell in reply to AlisonBoydell #
    • What is this crap STILL being spouted by about Laws being felled by a sense of shame? He was felled because he broke the rules. Simples. #
    • Labour, Tory or Liberal – they all have their snouts in the trough and have hubris enough to think they'll get away with it! #

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    June 6, 2010
  • When ‘ethics’ is a county in the south of England

    There’s an old joke about politics – politicians are people who think that:

    • Ethics is a county in the south of England
    • Morals are paintings on plaster
    • Scruples is the Russian currency

    Unfortunately it seems that this joke is rapidly becoming a reality – within 48 hours we’ve had two Chief Secretaries to the Treasury who’ve had, shall we say,  slight incongruities in their financial backgrounds.  Ignoring the red-herrings that have been tossed around about David Laws’ sexuality, the bottom line of this is that it appears that the Liberal Democrats didn’t audit the financial backgrounds of their senior members – something that both Labour and the Tories did in the aftermath of the expenses scandal.  It shouldn’t have been rocket science for the Lib Dems to do this; indeed, I would have thought that it should have been pretty easy and straight forward to achieve; after all, there were not as many LD MPs as Tory or Labour MPs, and over the years we’ve often been regaled by the Liberals with how they represent honesty and integrity against the perfidy and entrenched privilege of the other two major parties.

    Well, a quick exposure to power has revealed the the LD MPs have as many financial ‘D’OH’ moments to deal with as their blue and red colleagues.

    Perhaps Nick Clegg honestly never believed his MPs would play fast and loose, perhaps they genuinely didn’t think they’d done anything wrong.  Perhaps they never expected to gain power and so come under public scrutiny – but the Lib Dems are now under the same sort of withering fire from the media as Labour and Tory MPs were at the start of the expenses row.  I’ve already suggested in a previous post that Laws has bought the Coalition in to disrepute and has carried over the issues surrounding the integrity and financial probity of MPs from the last parliament in to this one.  Now that Danny Alexander appears to have dropped the ball as well, it does begin to look like there is a systemic problem at the heart of the Liberal Party which needs sorting out if they’re to retain the moral high ground they’ve previously had.

    I’ve found it interesting this evening to briefly debate the issue with Liberal Democrat apologists on Twitter, whose main argument has been to try and sidestep the allegations Alexander’s financial irregularities by trying to focus attention on the tax status of the Barclay Brothers who own the Daily Telegraph, who’re publishing the Alexander information.  The difference is that the Barclay Brothers did not get elected to Government on the back of people’s despair over MP’s expenses.  Neither do they run the country.

    To all members of the Liberal Democrat Party.  Fix this mess.  Audit your people, come clean, accept that some of your folks have issues that need addressing and address them.  Don’t try and bullshit us with claims of homophobia (for Laws) or feeble attempts to blame the messenger (for Alexander).  I hope that the Alexander issue IS something out of nothing, and that the situation is satisfactorily explained to us over the next day or so.

    But let’s just say I’m not holding my breath.  In the meantime, how many Liberal Democrat MPs are left who can take the job on?

    May 31, 2010
  • Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-05-30

    • The Political Classes still don't understand – we, the people, come not to praise David Laws, but to bury him as one who has defrauded us. #
    • England did not deserve that result – Japan should have won 2-0 IMO. Not an auspicious end to the pre-World Cup campaign. #
    • Got a lot to do today and this week – definitely a good day to go to Church to start matters off in a positive way! #
    • A request to all Twitter 'experts' – you don't tell me how to run my life on Twitter, and I won't tell you how to run yours. 🙂 #
    • Laws has broken the rules and must face the consequences. There should not be an attempt to generate a 'homophobia smokescreen'. #
    • Coalition supporters need to realise that perception in politics is all – Laws could not possibly have survived in his particular post. #
    • Really don't get the outpouring of sympathy for Laws – he broke the rules. Just like Labour and Tory politicians previously. Hubris again. #
    • Coalition Science Minister promotes space industry in UK – http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/science_and_environment/10176761.stm #
    • Concorde MAY fly again! Best of luck to them – http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8712806.stm #
    • A request to ALL UK politicians – please be honest in your dealings, or competent in your dishonesty. #
    • Interesting blog post from @inspiremetoday: Inspired by #LOST http://bit.ly/9XtPpo #
    • RT @timoreilly: This story from @nytimes brought tears to my eyes, & triggered thoughts about how shame can inspire us. http://bit.ly/bW5WhU #
    • But having said that, Laws broke the rules, and the relevant sanctions have to be applied and the consequences handled. #
    • Yes, Laws has been a bad lad – but £40,000 is chickenfeed compared to what the collective incompetence of Brown and Darling pissed away…. #
    • FINALLY watched the last episode of Lost – satisfying and thought provoking. #
    • Exciting stuff happening for a car-sharing / carbon saving project I'm involved with – 2 local authorities about want to talk!! #
    • Shopping done – back to the day job! #
    • RT @MarkRMatthews: RT @PragerRadio: “Politically incorrect is a euphemism for truths that are painful.” #TCOT #
    • Early adopters of ID cards are apparently pleading that their cards are not taken from them – I gather even some slaves loved their chains.. #
    • Making good progress on site coding – need to do some catch up on my 'To Do' list though – need to write the darn thing! #
    • Excited about what's happening in Hillsborough these days – follow the Hillsborough forum on Facebook as well… http://is.gd/crtLW #
    • The 'Miracle of Dunkirk' – a great feat by brave men and women – but maybe we need to focus more on the crisis of 2010. #
    • Good meeting with community assembly officers and other vcf groups – now home to work! #
    • Strange thing to say, but Bruce Springsteen and Richard Hawley fit together well on playlists! #
    • http://open.spotify.com/user/joepritchard/playlist/1O7zbpN10LmRcovazjWtJ1 Spotify playlist: Bruce Springsteen – Magic #fb #
    • Newsnight on iPlayer re. Sheffield – yes, it will be painful. Shame the previous Government didn't think of this when they ran up the debt. #
    • Cooler day here in shiny Sheffield again – looking froward to a productive one! #
    • On the way home – good meeting on behalf of Hillsborough Forum #
    • Vegetating in #showroom If anyone from #gistlab around, please say Hi! #
    • hah! #gistlab – thanks for the help! Brain gets older, stuff runs out…. 🙂 #
    • New community space at Workstation in Sheffield – what's it called and can I drop in anytime to visit? #sheffield #geekup #
    • RT @Hills_Forum: Great news regarding Hillsborough in Bloom: Current feedback from the judges based on their spring visit is Silver Gilt! #
    • RT @bettakultcha: I remember what life was like before those 'Use by''best before' & now 'Enjoy by' dates came (cont) http://tl.gd/1fdkdf #
    • Woohoo! kicking off a new project! Yeah baby! #
    • Beautiful day here in Sheffield – full of meetings for me! #

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    May 30, 2010
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